It’s time to write.
I’ve been trying to get this first newsletter out the door for a very long time. I’ve been held up by…me.
I self-edited. Self-doubted. Self-censored.
I was afraid. Some fear God…I fear GOOD.1
Fear that what I do will just be fine. That it will blend in and be boring.
Fear that I’ll spend a ton of effort on something and then it won’t matter.
Fear that - this is the real one I think - in the end it turns out I am not actually as special as my mom told me I was.
As a kid I was rewarded for getting the right answer, the clever answer. For being bright.
18 month old Sam. Always looking for the creative angle.
I was valedictorian. Class president. National Honor Society president. Varsity tennis captain. Etc etc.
My perfectionism drove me, and it drove me to great places. I loved it.
But then…I started a business.
I soon found it was not possible to grow my business and lead my team in the way I wanted to without first letting go of the idea that it was ME who needed to come up with the right answer. The clever answer.
It turns out the reality of growing a business - as in, offering something valuable that other people want to buy - has very little to do with what is “right” or “clever” or “special.”
Sure, those concepts are useful pursuits at times. But most of what fuels a successful business is listening, learning, and responding from the signals your customers give you.
The speed at which a team can learn together is the speed at which a business can grow. And there is nothing that slows down learning like perfectionism.
Here’s an example. A couple years ago we had an important all-hands meeting coming up as a team. The day before the meeting, I was sweating over my slides for the presentation. I had a call with my coach.2
“So what’s your goal with this team meeting tomorrow?”
“Talking about what’s important for our team culture. We want to increase the feedback that is flowing between team members. And we want to talk about psychological safety and how important that is for us so everyone knows it is okay to make mistakes and mess up.”
“And how are you prepping for that conversation?”
“I’m trying to get my slides right. They don’t look great and I want them to be awesome.”
“…why does that matter to you?”
“Because I want our company materials to be excellent and for people to feel like they are part of a company committed to a high level of quality.”
“Do you feel like it’s okay for there to be mistakes on your slides and for you to not get your presentation totally right?”
“…no not really.”
“…”
“Ahhhhh.”
The message I was inadvertently sending my team was the opposite of the culture I actually wanted to create.
Over these years I’ve gotten better about letting go of perfectionism - but it sure does show up now when I try to publish something personal.
So if only for that reason: publishing weekly is worth it for me. I anticipate being humbled and somewhat pissed off every time I sit down to this blank screen, and I anticipate pushing through that and coming out the other side just a wee bit more chill.
Here we go! See ya next week.
1 There will be many dad jokes in these emails. You’re welcome.
2 Shoutout Aaron!