Magic

Hi again {{first_name|Friend}}!

Okay so this really happened.

For my birthday in 2017, my wife got us tickets to see a magic show in NYC called In & Of Itself.¹ The magician, Derek DelGaudio, performed just six tricks, each more astonishing than the last.

I was in the fifth trick.

When we first walked into the theater, there was a wall of cards that each said “I am…” and then a noun. You were invited to pick one that spoke to you, and then as we walked into the theater there was a big stack of them on a table and you put your card on the stack. Amalia chose “I am a silly goose” and I chose “I am a wedding planner” because we were in the midst of planning our own wedding, and I am a dork.

The stack of cards sat there on the table untouched until deep into the show when Derek picked them up and asked an audience member to pick one randomly and hold it up. “Do we have a wedding planner here tonight?” Derek asked.

I raised my hand and Derek asked me to come down to the stage. At the back of the stage on a shelf were a pile of 20 or so envelopes that had been there the whole time. Derek took them off the shelf and asked me to pick one. I used to love doing magic tricks as a kid - and because I’m me I have read several dense books about magic - and I knew I was being set up into a forced choice. Nevertheless I tried to choose the most random envelope I could pick.

It was sealed. I opened it slowly and took out…a handwritten letter from my dad.

I recognized that scrawl immediately. The juxtaposition of seeing it on stage in the middle of this theater made my brain short circuit. I didn’t understand. But it was real.

Derek asked me to read it out loud to the audience. It was a lovely note about how proud my dad is of me, etc etc. It was addressed to my childhood nickname that only my dad calls me - Shmuelik - and full of other details only he would know.

After I read the letter, Derek asked me to verify that this was in fact a real letter from my dad. Then he sent me back to my seat and I spent the rest of the show thinking: howwww did that happen??

Later, I realized that the actual mechanics of howwww it happened were not really the most interesting part of that moment.

The real magic is in the effect that this moment has on the person encountering the letter, and on the audience watching.

The magic comes from creating one of the rarest societal phenomena: deeply authentic and spontaneous personal vulnerability in a public setting. It is totally entrancing. I would pay to see a show that is just people reading aloud surprise letters from their loved ones.

The final trick of the show involves Derek walking through the audience, staring into each person’s eyes, and naming the card they picked. “You are a…silly goose.” For the first few people, you’re like…HOW is he doing this???

But then as he keeps going and you realize he will do this for the whole room, your analytical brain can turn off. And then you can really appreciate what’s happening here: magic as emotional connection rather than intellectual flourishes. People wept as Derek approached them and named their identity: he was seeing them for how they want to be seen.

How special is that?

Still later, I came to appreciate this trick even more.

Ultimately it’s not hard to figure out how the show pulled this off: my wife bought our tickets, someone from the show saw that she got two seats next to each other, and emailed her to ask for the info of someone close to me. They then emailed my dad, and he mailed them a letter. They likely did this for multiple people in the audience in case my dad’s letter didn’t make it in time, or I wasn’t able to attend the show.

Those steps are as mundane as a basic communication process in a typical bureaucracy. The magic is that Derek’s team did this successfully 552 nights in a row and it created the desired emotional effect every time.

Most magic tricks are about the sleight of hand: wow this person can move their body in such a way that they can deceive my eyes, and I appreciate their skill in being able to do that every single time.

This particular trick doesn’t have any sleight of hand (at least after the “Wedding Planner” card was forced for selection). It is entirely sleight of process: wow this team of people can facilitate the making of a powerful moment, and I appreciate their skill in being able to do that every single time.

Sleight of hand requires an individual to practice for hundreds of hours.

Sleight of process requires identifying and executing a repeatable set of steps for achieving an unexpected result.

The coolest part about this is that while becoming a dextrous magician is quite hard, any committed creative person or group can become process magicians!

For example: you could make this same moment happen for people you know. It doesn’t require any special equipment, no collapsible knives or fake bottom boxes or birds in hats. All it takes is a behind the scenes email or two.

Imagine if you showed up at your next team retreat with surprise letters for each person on your team from someone they love!

Sleight of process at the organizational level is how employees and customers turn into raving fans.

Organizations who figure out how to pull off repeatable processes for producing unexpected emotional results will earn love and loyalty from the people they work with.

Because being seen, validated, acknowledged, understood - especially when you are least expecting it - is the most magical wondrous thing we can do for each other.

Do go watch the show on Hulu! And Derek’s book AMORALMAN is one of my top three favorite books ever. It is a supremely entertaining autobiography, focused mainly on his time as a cheating poker dealer, and then the very last page turns the entire book on its head and left my jaw on the floor. Cannot recommend it highly enough!